Wedding dinner - What & How Much to Give?

[Vonn]

Stressed, thanks! I was about to come in to split the thread and realised that you have done it

Queenie, just pretend you didn't hear her. Don't let people like her spoil your mood for your banquet

Stressed, that is terrible.... actually for me dinner, there were couples who came with a combined ang pao of $100 But anyway, lets put it this way..... it is a happy occasion and just be glad that they "gave face" and were willing to turn up. The amount of good luck money they give is just a token. We should not even hope for our guests to "pay" for their dinner

[queenie]

Yep, I am prepared to lose money actually.

You are right, Von. That's what I've been telling myself too until she made it sounded like it's my fault for having wedding in a hotel's ballroom and not restaurant. Oh well, like you said, I will not allow her to affect my preparation mood.

Think this Ang Pow issue has always been a major one for couples.

[stressed]

Von, I did try my darnest to think that way but honestly I'm generally economically-driven . esp at the price that I'm paying per pax. Mine was around $110 per pax.

Thank goodness, we had good (aka generous) friends that gave $300 per pax to cover. End of the banquet, made ourselves enough $$ to buy a new sofa and TV. Phew...

Of course, we still had that "hope for the best, but prepare for the worst" mantra throughout the preparation. :choice:

[Vonn]

Originally posted by stressed
Of course, we still had that "hope for the best, but prepare for the worst" mantra throughout the preparation. :choice:

That's right

For mine, we broke even

Queenie, all the best to your wedding banquet then

[queenie]

Thanks Von.

[snowstar]

Queenie dear, a thought =)

i helped my friend book a separate room next to the ballroom for children and teenagers. the menu was chosen more for kids - finger food, ice cream, fish and chips etc. Also set up some games.

i think it was a win-win situation
- children didnt bother the atmostphere of the wedding itself
- she lost less money as the food was cheaper
- children had a great time! they werent restricted to their seats for a 3 hour dinner!!!

maybe your aunt is alittle hard up this year? im sure her son can pay for himself since he is working! think positive!! it's better she tells you now and you can prepare for it then find out after the wedding =)

[queenie]

Wow I have never thought of this, Snow! Was it the one held at Conrad as well? I am not sure if this can be done 'cos I don't see any extra room next to the ball room. :sotong:

[buttercup]

Hi...

I thought the story i heard from Jit of Silverlining was bad enough, until i came to write about some "horrible" stories here. He told me that his customer complained about receiving a $20 angpow from someone. She doesn't even know who as no name was written on it. :piss: They had their wedding in CHIJMES and made some losses.

Similarly, my view is that if the person is not close to you, $80 should be good enough...i will definitely give more if the person is a closer friend.

And as for relatives, oh well, there is seriously nothing much we can do...except hope for the best. These are people that you have to invite yet can't force them to give you more, otherwise they are at a position to complain to your parents.

I am also expecting some losses, about 2 odd k, but certainly not 8k!! that would be too much!

[buttercup]

Frankly speaking, isn't there some ways of knowing who paid how much? like a list or something? :huh:

[queenie]

I heard this from a friend. That is to ask your helper to write down as many names as possible for those who don't write names on the back of the Ang Pow. This way, wedding couples will be able to match gifts/ang pow according to the guest list. Not sure if this is a good idea though.

[ponine]

Just attended a wedding in Malaysia... the sister/s and brother/s of the bride and groom do note down names of the people who gave ang baos. They did this at the tea ceremony. They have such a long list of relatives to serve tea to ! I see nothing wrong with that! In fact, it's a pretty good idea don't you think ? Because if more couples do that, then over time guest to wedding dinners would not dare to stuff red paper or give a pathetic $20.

[queenie]

Oh goodie. So this is the norm now. I was just wondering if this is offensive or rude to some.

[stressed]

Originally posted by Queenie
I heard this from a friend. That is to ask your helper to write down as many names as possible for those who don't write names on the back of the Ang Pow. This way, wedding couples will be able to match gifts/ang pow according to the guest list. Not sure if this is a good idea though.

U know...i wanted to do that, but I don't have the heart to give extra work to my girls. They have been so sweet enough to help us.

Anyway, on the hindsight, even if I knew "that" person gave $20, I don't have the heart to "return" the same amount in future. Lets just say, if "that" person gets married only 10 years down the road, $20 is no longer sufficient.

For me, how much to give depends on (in order of piority)

*the place
*how closely related we are.

We listed those who were "brave" enought to write their name. The list became my personal "let's gossip" item.

oooo...I'm good when I'm evvvviiillll

[buttercup]

HAHAHAHA!! You really sounded evil man! Yah, i agree with you...I wouldn't want to stoop so "low" by giving them back $20 too...because i don't believe it's right...

But it's good to let them know we are recording so that they know WE KNOW.

Hahaha..confusing?

And it would also be good for me to know what to expect from them... what kind of a person they are.

But no matter what, if the person is honestly not well to do, then i would never fault them for giving me less... it's those super rich or pretty well off ones but are niao* that irks me. :piss:

*Niao / Neow = stingy

[queenie]

Hey buttercup,

Pardon me, what's niao huh? :sotong: