Minimum amount of $$ to get married...

[pas2121]

just my thoughts on renovations and weddings

I'm currently livin' in the uk, and my flat was bought new with only the kitchen and bathrooms installed, nothing fancy, just plain white toilet suite with shower and bathtub. the rest was just white walls and beige carpet.

I find that renovating is a gradual process, there's no need to "pia" all at once and get everything done. In fact, what i do now as part of my leisure activity is go shopping for things to decorate the house. So this week get some candles, next week install a shelf, etc. I also find that as long as you stick to 3 or 4 primary colours (i am very strict, only blacks, browns, beige, greys and whites) you don't need fancy interior design if you're on a budget (i'm a student, so i'm on a serious budget, hehe)

As for weddings, remember that a wedding is simply the starting point for the marriage. Very often we want our weddings to be perfect and spend more and more to make it perfect - my sister admitted she was very "psycho" about her wedding, she made me carry chocolates on a 5 hour bus ride from KL cause she wanted a specific style of chocolate - but then we lose sight of the real significance. that the wedding is simply symbolic of you promising to spend the rest of your life with someone whom is important to you. sorry, maybe i'm just too practical and unromantic hee.

[xenah]

Gal, I agree *** ya. By d glance of d expenses 4 wedding + hse + reno = No $$ 4 my case.
The moment I saw d other sistahs quota 50K++ for wedding.. I wana faint.. I gezz i don wana get married la.. heheheh

[shazzerlyn]

Hi xenah!

Please refrain from the use of SMS short-forms, non-standard spelling, and Singlish expressions in your posts. CozyCot is a place where people from all over the world meet and share information. It makes for easy understanding for everyone by typing out your words properly, for example, 'just' and 'friends' instead of "j u z" and "frens"respectively. This has been outlined in our Bulletin Forum Rules #5. Please edit your post accordingly.

Thank you for understanding.

Your friendly neighbourhood moderator

[blueybubble]

Hey Alya,

My dad also said the same thing! He has contributing to my wedding funds every month! But I don't want him to pay for my banquet. He mentioned that he will pay all and let us keep all the red packets, but I think we will use the red packets to cover the banquet.

Hey Wendy,

I have no choice but to spend more on the renovation. Cos we really like the location and are not intending to upgrade or move in the next 10, or maybe 20 years. So we decided to spend more money to do up the house now.

I guess everyone has different ideas on what they want for a wedding. So we can't really put a standard price to a wedding. As long as the couple is happy, having a wedding dinner in a coffee shop will be good enough! Hee hee

[marronluv]

Wanna ask you girls..do you girls contribute to the wedding or your SO pay all by himself. Coz for my case, I don't intend to contribute anything..maybe household decor? Haha not that my SO is ultra rich..but at the age of 25 and not working yet as he is graduating this may with me, he already has $50K savings and some others..And when he start work, he earning at least $3K + $2K (tuition)= $5K. I don't see the need of me paying anything and he don't mind too. But it seems funny coz all girls seem to ontribute smth...and me and my SO dont intend to get married until we have 100K for everything..

[NiteyLychee]

Out of curiosty, anyone here married young? I mean young as in like, below 24 years old. I wanted to married early too....but financial is keeping me back...

[lumos]

being the fiercely independant sort i would want to fork out my share for the wedding but that's just me

marronluv: wow your SO really knows how to save huh? such a large amt of money even before he graduates, lucky you, think you should be able to get married very very soon

[marronluv]

being the fiercely independant sort i would want to fork out my share for the wedding but that's just me

marronluv: wow your SO really knows how to save huh? such a large amt of money even before he graduates, lucky you, think you should be able to get married very very soon

I don't intend to get married until I am about 28-30..until I have the ability to own my own car, have a nice house and some success in my career. As for being independent, I guess I am too. But what I feel is this, if a man were to marry a women, and she has to pay, den whats the pt in marrying...I don't know..but I **** my husband shld bear all costs. Just my two cents worth. Haha Anyway, not he save one. Is his parents put aside for him and he gets the money when he gets married.

[chooz]

Wanna ask you girls..do you girls contribute to the wedding or your SO pay all by himself. Coz for my case, I don't intend to contribute anything..maybe household decor? Haha not that my SO is ultra rich..but at the age of 25 and not working yet as he is graduating this may with me, he already has $50K savings and some others..And when he start work, he earning at least $3K + $2K (tuition)= $5K. I don't see the need of me paying anything and he don't mind too. But it seems funny coz all girls seem to ontribute smth...and me and my SO dont intend to get married until we have 100K for everything..

I myself did not contribute anything to our wedding, besides maybe a few negligible hudreds for my own MUA and some costume jewellery. Don't get me wrong, I am not proud at all even though my hb was capable of absorbing all the costs of the wedding. I was not working for almost a year while planning for our wedding therefore was financially dependant on hb. If I had a job with a stable income, I would have saved up and chipped in to our wedding. Money is hard earned, and at the "peak" of our wedding planning, my hb was like clearing an average of $5k to $6k of credit card bills every month, for at least a good 6 months back to back! All these money were going into paying our BS, photography, wedding bands, diamond rings etc etc and that was not inclusive of housing expenses and banquet yet! My heart ached every time I saw him paying the bills, at that moment, I so wish that I had the means to help ease his burden

Wedding is really a costly affair ... even with my hb's 5 figure monthly income, he could still feel a bit of the pinch. Even though he had never said it out as he was sensitive enough not to make me feel bad about not being able to help out, I could sense it . Because for those 6 months or so, he held back on other "luxury" expenses like modification on his car and fine dining while overseas. All his money were channelled solely into our wedding, besides maybe his usual investments. That in turn had made me feel even more guilty about not having money to help out But on the bright side, that had also made me see his commitment to me and gave me the assurance that I had married the right man

For your case is different, your SO is lucky to have parents who has the means to set aside a "wedding fund" for him. Otherwise, with his S$5k monthly income ( where $2k of it is a "projected" side income I supposed ), you might need to help out a bit eventually, if you wish to have a lavish wedding
It will not dawn on you just how costly it can really get, to have " The Perfect Wedding" + dream housing + dream holiday, until you actually start planning and PAYING for it . Unless, compromises were made in between

Just my 2 cents worth too ...

[dark_choz]

Hi marronluv... I agree with Chooz that your SO is really one lucky guy whose parent has set aside a good amount of money for his wedding, which means his family should be well-to-do or at least quite well-to-do.

Why do gals need to contribute for wedding? Reason is simple.

1. Guys nowadays graduate much later than their female counterparts and therefore if you compare guys and girls of the same age, most likely the girl will earn slightly more then the guy at early stage.

2. Guys are the ones who pays more for the expenses during dating e.g. dinner, movies and transport etc. Perhaps a average ratio will be 70% guys : 30% girls in expenditure

3. We need to give our parents household money. They need too...

4. Perhaps a percentage of the guys still have study loan to finance.

If you factor in those that i quoted above and calculate on an average 2.5k fresh grad pay:
- Minus off cpf: 2k
- Minus guys own expenditure: 2k - 600 = 1.5k
- Minus the dating expenditure: 1.5k - 250(not much of fine dining) = 1.25k
- Minus household contribution: 1.25k - 250 = 1k
- Minus mthly mean misc expenses (e.g. whatever day, short holiday): 1k - 200 = 800

Sadly, the guy is only able to save 800/mth. Base on this figure, The guy will need to save at least 4-5 years in order to save up to 50k (taken into consideration that the guy's pay rises at a slow rate of 200bucks/yr).

And if the guy and the girl are of same age, and most guys grad from uni at 25 yo, then i think the girl will have to wait till 30 yo before she can get hitch... again, pessimistically, due to prices inflation, 50k may not be enough for wedding by then.

That's why unless the girl (just like you or Chooz) is lucky to find a golden turtle else it's impossible for a girl not to contribute anything to the wedding.

Note: This does not applies to people who don't mind a very simple marriage (without wedding) 30 bucks is adequate to get a rom cert.

just my

[caden28]

i'm curious: is it common to have instalment plans for most things when getting married now, from bridal studios, photography packages, wedding jewelry, banquets, etc now? is it the norm currently? how do these work?

No I do not believe it is common to have installment plans for these things. At least not for me.

My take on this... if one don't have enough money to get married, either wait and save for a few more years, or compromise for something cheaper.

The key point is - Spend Within Your Means.

It's not good to start a marriage ridden with debts. It's bad enough that most of us need to take up a housing loan and be committed for the next 10, 20 or even 30 years.

[dark_choz]

Hi Happybean,

If you have the means to pay-off everything without installments why not?
Personally, I don't like too many things under installments because at the end of the day, you are going to pay-off the debts every monthly and it may stress you up. Futhermore, you will be adjusting to the new married life. If you really require a loan, try get parent's loan.

In a nutshell, try to prepare/get everything within your means, after all, a married life is not suppose to cause you more stress.

[lumos]

personally i would rather pay everything off than to pay in installments later. i am someone who hates debts, i even try not to borrow money from my friends unless i really really need to

anyway its better to start off your marriage afresh rather than with debts right?

[chooz]

i'm curious: is it common to have instalment plans for most things when getting married now, from bridal studios, photography packages, wedding jewelry, banquets, etc now? is it the norm currently? how do these work?

hi happybean,

Erm, I'm not too sure if that's the norm now, at least it does not apply to both hb and I. The only instalments we or rather he is paying now is his car instalments He is a person who is very good and prudent in managing his own finances and who has never ever defaulted on a single cent of payment (credit card bills etc) to banks. Therefore, he is not that kind of person who will take up unnecessary loans for some luxury that he most probably couldn't afford otherwise

But I've heard of a couple who had to take up bank loans to pay for their 100 table wedding banquet at some posh 5 star hotels along Orchard Road!! The son was regretful afterwards as the marriage had to begin with a huge pile of debt! He totally blamed his parents for it as they were the one who forced the idea onto him just because they wanted to show off!

[chooz]

It's not good to start a marriage ridden with debts. It's bad enough that most of us need to take up a housing loan and be committed for the next 10, 20 or even 30 years.

Well said!!

Exactly my thought too!