Stingy Relatives

[lumos]

talk about stingy relatives i have one super stingy uncle (married to my mum's sister so thankfully not related by blood)

when my cousin (not his children obviously) got married, he brought along all his children plus their other halfs and only gave $200 or less when they had a total of 6 people!

and during Chinese New Year, they disappear so as not to give ang pows :roll:

[vit_c]

My MIL actually did this - she tried to write down names on the ang paos as relatives gave them to her - she will do a tit for ***. If one gave her that amount she will give that amount back when their relatives' children marry. If they gave more means we also have to return more. I think its good practise - in a way its hard to sometimes write infront of people but closer relatives are not too many right so its possible to write or - pass it to say a younger sister & tell her who & let her write out of sight of guests.

i have a distant relative who is a doctor his wife some stingy boker & will control all the money & even to the portions of food to be served at the dinner table - say fried chicken - 5 people only 5 pcs - no one can have one more piece - her MIL told us - saying how terrible a DIL she has. & for Chinese New year some of my relatives seeing me older will give me slightly more money. They used to give me $2-4 when i was very small now i get about $8-20. This doctor couple will give me $2 still even though my mum has been giving her sons $4 ang paos. She will also give my granny $2 ang paos! which i think is so absurd. When you give a non-working elder & you are working & can afford it - you try to give more - especially when you see her only once a year & my granny will always make cookies for that family. Gosh $2 is more like a slap on the face then respect to be given. I rather they dont come & visit sometimes. This family i might not want to invite to my wedding - maybe only the old lady of the house since she is like my granny's cousin & her children -the doctor & his wife are really very distant relatives. If my mum still wants to invite them - i will still invite them but give those tables to her as dowry - it will be her problem & she might then decide not to invite them after all.

But family is family - you have to invite them no choice even if they are miserly. Let your mother deal with them - they are her sisters/brothers - you can do the same to them when their children marry - bring everyone you can possibily think of &/ or give less ang pao.

My close friend's father had arguments before on spliting some family property so when her marriage came they were invited to give the grandparents face but the grand mother told her sons & daughters not to give a cent in ang pao. Some did not even turn up, some seats wasted - however the granny had the decency to give a piece of gold to my friend worth about $1K so it was not so bad. I told her if i were you - i sell it off to over expenses.

On the other hand i was told business associates are great to invite they will give more to give you face. My ex-colleague actually had a problem - shotgun & her MIL did not want to help financially at all. But heaven was kind & her hubby's business associates, people he knew from work, actually helped to break even & she told me she even made a small profit. She also had relatives brings 6 people but giving any pao to cover only 2 people's cost. Not a bad idea. but it will make the dinner quite big.

[kyser]

Dear Junior,

Looking at the flip-side, no one likes to be taken advantage of. Removing those relatives that may take advantgae of you will make you a happier bride during and post dinner.

It's all about managing your exposure to such ppl. You should only share the wedding joy with relatives who are truely happy for you and not people who are trying to reap you off.

Kys|er