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  1. #1
    Cozy Rookie Array preciousangel's Avatar
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    Default Why is my good friend ignoring me suddenly?

    Hi cotters,

    I have been pretty confused lately and I am trying to move on but this is still perplexing me really. Would appreciate your inputs.

    I have a guy friend of mine,we got to know each other from online last year and met up this yr when he came back from overseas. We share a good rapport and chemistry as friends,nothing more than that. He left to go overseas around end of Aug and came back last mth. Before he left he sounded cheerful as usual and we were talking about meeting up when he returns etc. We exchanged our friendly ''hugs'' over sms and that was that.

    After about a month recently he put up his new handphone number online and I got in touch with him.I messaged him as usual,he gave some replies but somehow it lacks his usual enthusiasm. I called him last week when i got his number and chatted him for a moment,he sounded normal over the phone.

    Over the next couple of days whenever i messaged him he didn't return my smses and this led me to think initially whether his phone is giving him problems coz he changed phones recently.The funny thing is he received my messages but just doesn't choose to reply to them!

    This is strange because in the past no matter how busy he is he would still give me a late reply. I am not the kind of girl who demands that a guy reply to me ASAP rain or shine,earthquake or tsunami etc. I am quite objective here but i notice a change in tone,somehow he doesn't sound as normally he would.

    We never fought,never argued and there is no problems between us. Even if he is dating someone let's say he would not be the type to ignore his friends. I have no idea why he is ignoring me though,at least that's the kind of vibes i am receiving on my end now.

    Can someone help me to shed light on this? Why would someone who is normally cheerful and friendly with me suddenly change?And btw he is normal with his other friends. What's wrong??

  2. #2
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    Well, i think maybe he is seeing someone now and thats why he is behaving this way. Or maybe he heard something from a mutual friend of yours and he's not happy about it? Why don't you drop him a text and ask him why is he behaving this way towards you. If i were you i will feel very uneasy too, i would want to know whats going on rather than keep on guessing and that will give me sleepless nights.

  3. #3
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    My guess is that either he used to have a crush on you and has grown out of it, or that he has met someone else. Don't dwell on it. If he's a true friend, he won't "abandon" you without reason.

  4. #4
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    hmm are you interested in him? Usually if you feel that way, that's because you're hoping something more than just a normal "friend"

    if it was me and a friend that has ignore me, i would be asking what's going on directly rather than keep guessing.

  5. #5
    Cozy Rookie Array preciousangel's Avatar
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    Well i feel puzzled because he is normal with his other friends discussing about meetups/gatherings etc over fb. So i have no idea why he has to ignore me especially when we are on good talking terms and nothing terrible has occured.

    I feel that if i directly go and ask him the reason it would look too confrontational and he maybe placed in an awkward spot,hence my dilemma. If he's seeing someone there is no way that I will be a hindrance to this so i don't see where the ignoring of smses comes from. Oh god this is really so confusing,i never knew guys can be so complicated seriously. I understand that one needs some personal space to sort out their private issues whatever that is but to blatantly ignore someone for no reason is baffling me

  6. #6
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    my guess is that he has a gf..and probably the gf knows about the friendship between you and him and dont really want him to be "close" to you..

    but of coz its my guessing only...

    coz when i was attached with my husband, i dont allow him to keep in close contact with his female friends.hehehe

  7. #7
    Cozy Rookie Array agagag's Avatar
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    Maybe he sense something that he should avoid !?

    1. he got a crush on you now/before
    2. he had someone else on mind/heart
    3. someone else had say something bad about you

    But all these could be just MAYBE

    If you still want this friendship, call and ask him or ask him face to face..
    Otherwise forget this person, he is just a passerby..

  8. #8
    Cozy Rookie Array preciousangel's Avatar
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    He's a ladies' man not the flirty type but more of the popular kind,has lots of female friends etc. Personally i feel he would not be the type to ignore a friend just because he is dating someone. It kinda contradicts his character coz he really loves all his friends.

    When i talked to him over the phone last week after getting his number he sounded normal,when i suggested a meetup he sounded positive and even asked me when i am free etc. I am not sure why he has to ignore my smses otherwise but i am getting the vibes from him that he somehow finds it uncomfortable to talk to me.

    And he is single before he left sg for 3 weeks overseas,i doubt if he can get attached in a short period of time and even if that's the case him ignoring me is weird

    I have a good mind to call and ask him,but i don't wish to confront him directly and place him in an awkward spot. Any suggestions on how i can handle the situation delicately?

  9. #9
    Cozy Rookie Array agagag's Avatar
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    This is how i feel

    He likes you. He received your sms, reply with text BUT he deleted them becos he is afraid of your ignorance/rejection after he pop the question.

    This is what i will do

    Date him, ask him " are we friends, can we have a open talk, why is there a sudden change in your attitude...."

    What if

    He says that he like you?

    Can you

    Accept him more than a friend?

    Q: Have you ever ask yourself the 'what if' & 'can i' ???

  10. #10
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    i don't think a guy who likes a girl will ignore or treat her coldly.

    you may just ask him in a joking manner next time he ignore your messages, how come he didn't reply?

  11. #11
    Cozy Rookie Array preciousangel's Avatar
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    We have been good friends since we met up and we share a good chemistry. i am open to a r/s BUT at the same time i am also ok with it if we just stay as friends only. He is comfy talking to me and normally replies to my messages promptly,hence i find this behavioural change quite puzzling.
    I can't put a finger on it as to why he has to ignore me,even if you say he sort of likes me why would he give me the cold shoulder,wouldn't that contradict his intentions?
    For now i just feel confused and hurtful,all along he had been sincere,even if he is dating someone now i would still be happy for him as a friend and well wisher so why should he ignore me
    I am not talking or messaging him as well,can't be bothered but this is in a way killing me coz i have no idea why he started this in the first place.

  12. #12
    Cozy Rookie Array agagag's Avatar
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    If you really can put it down just forget this person..

    But seems like you can't, my dear...so follow your heart.

    You want an answer? Don't you?

  13. #13
    Cozy Rookie Array preciousangel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by agagag View Post
    If you really can put it down just forget this person..

    But seems like you can't, my dear...so follow your heart.

    You want an answer? Don't you?
    Well i think anyone in my situation would want an answer too..Especially when a friend is behaving this way it really makes u wonder why. I was happy to find a friend in him and i know that he was happy talking to me just before he left sg even in that rush while packing his bags he was still texting me. Now a month later he is behaving like this and it baffles me
    I don't quite know what to tell him exactly also..haix

  14. #14
    Cozy Rookie Array agagag's Avatar
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    preciousangel,

    I wish you all the best.

    Hope that you have all the courage to do whatever you've decided to. Whether to stay where you are OR go a step further.....

    With no 'regretful' feeling later, people always says 'grab the chance before it slips away'.

  15. #15
    Cozy Rookie Array preciousangel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by agagag View Post
    preciousangel,

    I wish you all the best.

    Hope that you have all the courage to do whatever you've decided to. Whether to stay where you are OR go a step further.....

    With no 'regretful' feeling later, people always says 'grab the chance before it slips away'.
    Thanks for your kind words.. i read in your previous post in the how to know if a guy likes you thread that you popped the question to your current beau.
    I don't wish to think too much and get myself all hurt but how did u approach the situation and know for sure he liked u as well?
    In my case we are good friends but i am wondering why he should act all awkward now unless he thinks i like him and he doesn't wish to mislead me but i never did anything like that. We were comfy with each other right from the start.

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