Depression

[bluetoast]

Is there any way to get rid of dpression fast and good?
My SO is having depression now..
I didnt know about it till today..
I'm such a bad girlfriend, considering I once had depression for 2 years..sigh..

I need to help him get rid of it..
is getting pills from doctors better or going to see a um..depression doctor better?

I need advices urgently..

[alyssasara]

how serious is his depression?? mild depression ( always feeling sad or depressed , no mood etc ) or severe depression (drastic weight loss/gain , lost of appetite , suicidal thoughts) ?? what are his symptoms now?

i suggest you read this : http://www.imh.com.sg/patient_education/depression.htm

Best is to bring to a doctor ASAP , let the doctor assess his condition and get medication (anti-depressants). The pills won't work immediately , you'll only see improvement after a month or so as basically the pills just helps to your brain/body to generate serotonin (the "happy" cells). If he's having severe depression, get the doctor to refer your bf to a specialist / pyschologist for treatment. Another option is to join support groups.

There's no fast and good way to get rid of depression , basically it boils down to the individual's will power to recover. If he/she is very resistant to getting help and refuses to stand back up.... the depression period might be even longer and might sink even deeper. Personal will power plays a very very big part to recovery , support from friends and family too plays a big part.

From my personal experience , best is not to show your frustrations towards him being depressed , have to be extremely patient and forgiving to him for now...

[bluetoast]

he told me that he is very stressed now..yet he doesnt know what is causing that..
says he don't know what he is doing now..

he's afraid of going to work, going home, facing his family and friends..afraid of meeting me yet afraid of not meeting me..i ask him what's he is afraid about, he says he doesnt know..

he used to be a guy who is afraid of nothing..at least none of the above..he used to be a very sporty guy..i have no idea if he has suicidal thoughts..but i do know that he is drinking pretty heavily now..

i'm thinking of bringing him to the doctor tomorrow but it might not work as he is working in the afternoon..and he wont want to go to see a doctor..

i guess i can only persuade him like a kid?

in the mean-time, can chocolates help?

[alyssasara]

hmm.. sounds like he's more like stressed out than having depression. i think he's probably under going too much stress now , so slowly starting to develop anxiety or panic disorder due to the intense tension & stress?

From your description of his symptoms , don't really seem like depression. which is good news...at least we have one less thing to worry... =)

Yar , get him to see the doctor asap ...is he getting any sleep at all? or suffering from insomia?
if he is , get to doctor to give him sleeping pills...with ample rest , he will feel much better and more ready to deal with the stress. Well.. chocolates works so many people.. , not harm trying... !

Probably try to assure him that if he needs a listening ear , you'll be there for him?? Let him to open up or confide in you when he's ready to... Poor guy.. wonder what makes him so stressed up....?

[bluetoast]

it seems like ever since he started ns-ing at the police station as a investigator, he became like that..I told him that if he is too stressed out, he can always try to have a talk with his leader or what that person is called..but he refused to do that..

but thanks for both of your help..
I will try to get him to the doctor asap..

[notapig]

hi

Anyone can help?
What is considered depression?

My dad sometimes cries and wake up in the middle of the night asking my mum questions like "who is more important, your family or me?" He never cry before this.

He is suspicous of anyone whispering and believe some people are out to harm him.

We try to persuade him to see a doctor, and said is insomia. However, he insist he is ok and scolded us for suspecting he is mad.

My siblings and I all tried talking to him lot of times, he insisted that he know and he is fine. After that, he will just go back to his cycle of worrying, crying, nagging.. mild insomia and binge because he worried and think too much.

I don't know how to persuade him to see a doc and I am worried he will *** fall into greater depression. ****..

[precious_faith]

Bluetoast, it seems that he is under too much stress .. I used to have depression for 2 years .. No one seems to able to understand someone with depression .. Bring him to the doc .. I can say pill doesn't help .. But is on a safer side cuz u will nv imagine what a person with depression might do ..

Spend more time with him, like go to the beach n stuff .. not shopping or noisy places .. For example talk a walk along the beach .. Try to share more of ur thoughts about life and evevrything .. It might helps him to share his feelings too .. For someone with depression, everything in their mind is fear and helpless.. If u ask them why they will reply don't know .. Somehow they numb their heart and brain to prevent thinking of problems and stress .. Treat him like ur closest friend and talk to him about anything under the sun .. Of course don't treat him like someone with depression .. Let him feel that there is nothing fearful to meet u ..

When he feels like crying, let him cry .. When he feels like talking let him talk .. Still he himself got to stand up .. No one can help .. He himself gotta find out the cause of stress and depression .. Let him relax first .. You might get something out of chats between u and him .. Think about what he says when u get home .. They talk very cheem one .. Lol .. Anyway don't stress urself up too .. He need u yea .. All the best!

[precious_faith]

notapig, ur dad is going through depression .. Someone with depression feels insecure like ur dad .. Waking up in the middle of the night thinking whether is he important to anyone ..

Try to bring him to the doc asap .. I'm not trying to scare u but still like i say is on a safer side .. If ur family relationship is very good den congrats .. Things will be easier .. If not, do anything to make the relationship stronger .. Always tell ur dad u love him .. Ensure him with a hug or even a phone call .. He might just feel like people seems to forget him .. In the first place, did anything happen before he became like this ? Cure for depression is always finding out the cause of it and cure it .. If not it will stay in their heart even depression is gone .. Spend more time with him as in family time ..

U mentioned that he think and worry too much .. May i know is about what ?

[cutypenguin]

hi

Anyone can help?
What is considered depression?

My dad sometimes cries and wake up in the middle of the night asking my mum questions like "who is more important, your family or me?" He never cry before this.

He is suspicous of anyone whispering and believe some people are out to harm him.

We try to persuade him to see a doctor, and said is insomia. However, he insist he is ok and scolded us for suspecting he is mad.

My siblings and I all tried talking to him lot of times, he insisted that he know and he is fine. After that, he will just go back to his cycle of worrying, crying, nagging.. mild insomia and binge because he worried and think too much.

I don't know how to persuade him to see a doc and I am worried he will *** fall into greater depression. ****..

I think it is 100% depression. Brought on by anxiety over some troubling issues and perhaps fear of old age, abandonment, being made redundant, etc. Did anything major happen to him or at home recently? Did he lose his job? Lost money in investments? Or someone dear died or was ill? Was there some argument between him & your mum?
Men normally hate to go for counselling. Perhaps U can bring someone over to your place and then slowly talk to him. The person could be just a relative. Like his own borther or sister is best. On your part, show U care and love him. Stay at home with him more often. Have meals and other activities together. Use this time to communicate. Maybe U can share with him your problems so he knows he is not alone with all that insecurities. Give him little tasks to do if he isn't working. Like posting letters, shopping for groceries. Try not to have him alone in the house. Does your family have a religion? Seek comfort & advice in it and get help from its teachings. When he is ready, get him to take on more stuffs, like a new hobby or interest. Retiring men are prone to this coz they don't know how to make themselves useful once they are no longer the sole breadwinner. Then if your mum is the outgoing type, he'l feel even less secure.
Sometimes people think counselling is everything. Actually counsellers are also humans with their own set of problems. They can solve issues coz they are trained to understand the human mind better and are able to offer an alternative viewpoint, which may or may not worked. In the end, it is the individual himself and those who love him, who can truly help.
Just my 2 cents' worth. Whatever it is, don't treat this lightly and brush it aside. For a man to behave in this manner, the problem must be really serious.

[Supaida]

my bro is suffering from severe depression too

my elder bro read that omega fish oii does helps to suppress depression.. have seen one case so far.. now she is not under medication anymore..

but i would say really depend on individual...

the lady is very discipline and determine and follow thru the prog and after 6 mths is is out of her depression meidcation from doctor but my bro who does not believe in health supplements does not want to take he uses pet as a form of therapy for himself.. and cycling.. but i really hope he can move out of depression soon too...

[notapig]

Hi

Thanks for all the concern..

My dad had some misunderstanding with some arrogant and attention seeking relatives and he got himself drunk at the event. They were of lower ranking than us in the family, but placed themselves in the spotlight but we were thrown at a stupid corner where no one can see or hear from us. She still came and commented that we got the best seats and how envy she was

After that, he was worrying if he embarrassed himself or stuff but in actual fact he did not. At first, we thought he was just worrying about what he have done after he was drunk (in fact he did not as my siblings and I were accompanying him all day). We told him it was a misunderstanding, as the organiser did not mean any harm and aunt blah nonsense as that was only our temporary seats and the organiser was very apologetic. He responsed well to that and say he glad the organiser know is wrong and we understand his plight. We did try to bring him out more often for dinner and went bowling so he will forget everything and move on.

On the other hand, at night or in the morning while he is alone with my mummy, he break down and ask a lot of questions.
We all try talking to him to forget about the event, but he told us he observing that who was behind the whole thing. Someone pour him a cup of tea and he said that the person must be apologetic.
He always act fine and cheerful in front of us, only show his the other side in front of my mum.
Therefore, is very hard for us to bring up the topic or bring him to the doctor.
That day I was commenting on how unapologetic some taxi driver are and he got agitated because he said he has nothing to be unapologetic about.

I think the most important is for him to face the problem and go to a doctor but my father has a lot of pride in him and is stubborn. My mum tried persuading him to see doctor for insomia( although is for depression), dad was angry as he said mum think he is mad.

I will try out omega on my dad and try to bluff him is good for other purpose, haha.. because he don't understand english, he will be less resistant towards it.

Hope for the best. Thanks

[fallen-angelz]

bluetoast, not a doctor but i agree with precious_faith im not very sure if ur SO is in a state of Depression or stress...
But true, since u have noted this and Depression is not to be taken lightly -
it's good to bring him for some medical advice.
If he insists not to, maybe u can try to help him go through this lowest point..
Read those links alyssasara provided...
Well if it persists, then perhaps professional help is very compulsory!

notapig, I do think it is Depression in ur dad's case.
When he starts hearing things that are actually not there, and believes people are out to harm him -
these are the tell-tale signs.
If the situation does not improve, try persuading him to see a doctor.
Perhaps the ego of a grown-up family man will refuse to admit there is anything wrong with him -
try letting him understand that ur whole family cares so much for him u have to help him.
At least seek one consultation and promise him u will not persist if there is really nothing wrong!

I fully understand this as my mother has been on Depression treatment for the past 2-odd years -
and perhaps another few years before that when we do not know this is Depression, and she has been living with it cos she insists she is fine.
We have alot of family problems since long time back so i knew what triggered all these.
Only when i accompanied her to the doctor do i realised all the pain she has been going thru -
and even voices telling her to go and die.
But she tried to stay strong thinking we all still need her to take care of us.

2-years and still on medication is considered a long time to recover cos she still worries a lot.
So perhaps u should take action faster since the depression is newly incurred -
it may just take a few months to recover in such cases.
Good luck girl.

[cutypenguin]

Hi

Thanks for all the concern..

My dad had some misunderstanding with some arrogant and attention seeking relatives and he got himself drunk at the event. They were of lower ranking than us in the family, but placed themselves in the spotlight but we were thrown at a stupid corner where no one can see or hear from us. She still came and commented that we got the best seats and how envy she was

After that, he was worrying if he embarrassed himself or stuff but in actual fact he did not. At first, we thought he was just worrying about what he have done after he was drunk (in fact he did not as my siblings and I were accompanying him all day). We told him it was a misunderstanding, as the organiser did not mean any harm and aunt blah nonsense as that was only our temporary seats and the organiser was very apologetic. He responsed well to that and say he glad the organiser know is wrong and we understand his plight. We did try to bring him out more often for dinner and went bowling so he will forget everything and move on.

On the other hand, at night or in the morning while he is alone with my mummy, he break down and ask a lot of questions.
We all try talking to him to forget about the event, but he told us he observing that who was behind the whole thing. Someone pour him a cup of tea and he said that the person must be apologetic.
He always act fine and cheerful in front of us, only show his the other side in front of my mum.
Therefore, is very hard for us to bring up the topic or bring him to the doctor.
That day I was commenting on how unapologetic some taxi driver are and he got agitated because he said he has nothing to be unapologetic about.

I think the most important is for him to face the problem and go to a doctor but my father has a lot of pride in him and is stubborn. My mum tried persuading him to see doctor for insomia( although is for depression), dad was angry as he said mum think he is mad.

I will try out omega on my dad and try to bluff him is good for other purpose, haha.. because he don't understand english, he will be less resistant towards it.

Hope for the best. Thanks

Your dad is the old & traditional kind? Then all the more he will be resistant towards help from his kids & counselling! In fact, the idea of someone feeling pity on him will drive him nuts (like my dad). I feel maybe your dad already has some problems before the event. Those problems may be linked to his finances (or whatever) that made him feel his status is threatened in some way. Powerless is the word. The event (dinner) is like a trigger. Maybe he feels he has lost face. His constant worrying about whether he was drunk then is actually like his need to seek re-assurance and approval from U guys. Like 'Did I do the right thing?' People who always apologise, and thinks they can do nothing right, or should have done something better (when it's already clear nothing can be done), have extremely low self-esteem and are on the brink of depression. Taking supplements will help to some extent. But he has to help himself ultimately. How about planning a short trip as a family? Go to JB or a nearby island for some fun and recreation. And also, don't forget to give him praises. Have U guys done that lately? Let him know how U appreciate him as a father. Thank him for the tiniest things. He'll be happy to hear that. Spending time with him doesn't mean U need to talk about his depression. In fact, treating like it isn't there is better. Try to talk about postive things and leave negative things aside.

[blueroses]

Is there any good psychiatrist that cotters can recommend? how much does it cost usually?

[alyssasara]

Is there any good psychiatrist that cotters can recommend? how much does it cost usually?

you can go to the GP and ask them to refer you to psychiatrist... 4yrs yrs back , the consultation charges for NUH psychiatrist was $60....so now i supposed shld be less than $100??