Originally posted by lauren
Would u go out/marry someone who seems less intelligent than u / has lower qualifications?
What are your views?
Yes, I definitely would.
I don't like to judge people by their qualifications, I mean, look at Bill Gates, that guy dropped out of high school and now he is one of the richest and some say, most intelligent, person.
Also, there are many late bloomers out there, and from my experience, most of them seem to be males. Must be a guy thing, that's why they never seem to grow up till they are after 40, though some never grow up at all!
because i've oft heard that if the guy does not seem as intelligent (i.e. can't give u the intelligent conversations babyflite ) there'll be communication problems. .... u know like wrong wavelength? i mean this is an overgeneralisation but i just wanna know what everyone thinks. :sotong:
hmm...okie maybe I'm more conservative but i'd definitely prefer going out with someone who's of at least the same intelligence level as me if not more intelligent or I'll feel kinda insecure.. I mean, the fact that he's more intelligent than I am makes me feel that I can depend on him for intelligent solutions to problems that i encounter and can't solve. hahar...i have a thing for witty, intelligent men who amuse me!
Qualifications aside, I think its vitally essential for a couple to be able to communicate on every level, to always grow together in the same direction, and to have a mutual level of understanding for what the other party says/feel. In this aspect, without any or all of three, I won't be able to see eternity with him. I imagine a significant level of frustration if one is intellectually supressed.
I think lower qualifications has been quite well covered by the girls here. Low academic qualifications is hardly accurate a guage to one's intellect.
Lower intelligence? How does one measure that? IQ has shown to be totally dismal as a measurement. EQ possibly closer to the truth. The latest measure AQ (adversity quotient) is more of a measure of a person's spirit than intelligence.
Lets cut the semantics. All in all, I look to connect to my partner. Connection in the form of spiritual, emotional, physical and intellectual in that rough order.
My last girlfriend's IQ is no less than 35 points lower than mine. But our conversations lasts into the wee hours of the morning, sharing a nice bottle of wine and a cigar. No its not the intelligence, but an undefined chemistry mix of all factors.
Bottom line is, I really do not need mental stimulation from my partner. But I do appreciate that women view that as a survival trait in their choice of partners.
i guess everyone's raised the most important point - the implicit assumption that qualifications equals intellgience is inherently flawed.
however, a disparity in either can pose a problem in a relationship.
i would definitely require my partner to be of somewhat equal intelligence. intellectually, because i need to be able to have discussions and debates with my partner. he needs to be able to talk about everything and anything under the sun, to have an opinion AND be able to back it up. emotionally, because i need someone who can truly understand how i feel. he needs to be someone i can confide in.
but i guess this has nothing to do with intelligence proper, but maturity instead. this is something that has nothing to do with qualifications. i've met guys with degrees with world-renowned universities, who are immature jerks. i've met guys who dropped out at secondary school, but with whom i can talk about everything.
regarding qualifications though, i would prefer someone who has the same qualifications in the long-run. pragmatically, someone with considerably lower qualifications would not make a very suitable partner as this may pose problems. differences in earning power, job scope, promotion prospects... these would inevitably crop up (unless he becomes a businessman!).
but ultimately, it depends on the guy. sometimes, the right guy comes along and that's all you need.
If you are able to hold a sensible conversation, have the same interests and share common things then i think it should be fine. I probably wouldnt go out with someone who couldnt read or write at all though