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  • Hi irene,

    Sorry to hear about your less than ideal marriage but I'm sure the issue you are facing isn't that uncommon and it can be worked out. A lot of the married couples I know of has the same issue, in the quest for more material stuff they start taking each other for granted, trying to earn more rather than learning how to spend more time with each other. And this is in the hope that a bigger car, a bigger house and their clever kids can replace the emptiness that starts to take over them gradually.

    Having an affair is not a long term solution, it simply gives you a temporary sense of relief. You need to find out the root cause of the problem. Is it simply because your husband has been working too hard ? Or is it the love has faded ? Is it just him or is it also you ? Or is it everything ? The kids and all. I'm not married myself so I wouldn't be the best person to give any opinions. I'm sure if you post in the relationships / husband / marriage thread, there will be lots of forum cotters who may be able to advise in some ways. Take care and all the best.

    Comment


    • Why are women rejecting marriage in Asia !

      Time for a bit of hard evidence, solid statistics and insightful viewpoint !

      A great article from the Economist on why women rejects marriage in Asia !

      "That’s partly because, for a woman, being both employed and married is tough in Asia. Women there are the primary caregivers for husbands, children and, often, for ageing parents; and even when in full-time employment, they are expected to continue to play this role. This is true elsewhere in the world, but the burden that Asian women carry is particularly heavy."

      Amen !!! Someone finally gets it !!!! The above example given may be specifically for Japanese women but as a Singaporean women I relate to that too !


      Link
      -- The decline of Asian marriage: Asia's lonely hearts | The Economist
      The decline of Asian marriage: Asia's lonely hearts | The Economist

      If the social expectations and pressures on women in Asia doesn't move ahead with times, then the women themselves will move on alone, on their own ! With dire consequences of course.. without babies and all.. .. ?

      Hmm.... food for thought.

      Anyway, singles.. don't forget to start taking out that retirement policy now !!!
      Last edited by CozyCot_Rose; 29-12-2011, 04:05 PM. Reason: Referral link is not allowed

      Comment


      • I'm ok already get used all these year. I did try to talk to my husband about us two to three time about our married. In the beginning everytime since to be better but histroy always repeat. I'm tired very tired. Sometime i do think my husband having an affair outside too. I used to think a lot guess here or there. Find out here or there. Nowaday what ever he do i dun really care anymore. As long as dun bring the woman home or must know how and where to hide if he really with a woman when he met my friend or my relative outside. Dun give me more trouble. The guy I used to see is great. He very understandingand care about me. He very straight forward and nothing to hide. Yes having an affair is not a long term solution. That what he told me too. He like the feeling be with me. But he love his family more than anything else. He used to love his wife 100% and children 100% But now he love his wife 20-30% and his children 180%. There will be a day he will love his children 200% and not his wife anymore. He a good man. When we check into hotel. Out of 5 time we make love only two time. He perform well on bed but is not sex he looking for. He just want to hug me tell me how the few day he have been doing and wish to know what i have been doing. His bussiness fail during 2009 and he still trying to get back to his feet. But his wife is climbing faster from her job becoming a wonderwoman. I ask him did he regret letting her wife to work that coz all these problem. His answer is no. He told me time has change. The wife start to work and start to look at world clearer. Feeling change when material stuff cover up your existing stuff. He dun blame her. It not her fault just that she dun realize. Wonder when she realize is her family still with her. Now he just want the kid to grow up in a family and when they are big enough then he will start to think of himself. Alway in his mind kid comes first. I told him i start to love him and wish to see him everyday. He told me that not healthy. It will led us to nowhere. He did not avoid me either. He smart and caring. I suggest to go hotel and he rejected me and suggest to watch a movie instead. He try not to told about personel problem to me and slowly change my feeling from lover to good friends as he do not want the hurt me without me noticed. Now think about it how i wish i did not told him i love him.

        Comment


        • Dear Irene,
          I understand what u r going thru.
          I feel that he wants to b with u or would like things to continue, however he knows that in a long run, it would not be healthy for u or him. He does not want to cut off totally, thus trying to revert to friends. Also he needs to think of his kids..they are innocent they need him, your kids too if u have. Babe, it would not be easy to let him go, but u need to try, at least u have him as a friend. Let this take some time then talk to him about u two ****** not reverting to how it was, but maybe as really good frens.. Then see how lo..
          You must jia you okok?

          Comment


          • Its true.. having relationship is quiet troublesome.. For now.. I do not want to be involved in a realtionship.. I don't mind being single. I am the eldest of my siblings so for now I do not want to have responsibility to other person except for my family and friends.

            Comment


            • Yea I agree~ Being in a relationship need more work and commitment~
              After reading about all the marriage problem, I think marriage is another higher level of commitment where more problems lies ahead.

              Freedom is precious~ It is really important to choose wisely, not just hop into a relationship cause of wanting to get married earlier~

              Comment


              • When it comes to love. I am sure no one will wish to reject especially when the partner is someone of your liking.
                Who doesnt wanna be happy when it comes to this aspect however there are always times whereby one will perform his best when it comes to wooing and when he has occupied the other party's heart things may change and sadly that normally happens.
                So who can we blame??
                He for being double headed or us falling for him??
                There isnt right or wrong falling in love irregardless of whatever reason.

                In short to say: In a relationship, there will always be an imbalance in respect to the contribution of commitment from one or another.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Listening .Ear View Post
                  In short to say: In a relationship, there will always be an imbalance in respect to the contribution of commitment from one or another.
                  Or in a nutshell: every relationship has a weaker link. If after 3 months you still haven't figured out who the weaker link is that means the weaker link is you.

                  Comment


                  • hello eveyrone..! im looking for a female buddy, be it shopping,eating,gossipping,fun etc... must be single! im 26 this yr. hope to find someone similiar and be like accompanion
                    cheerful and carefree
                    do pm me!

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by rykiel.ong View Post
                      hello eveyrone..! im looking for a female buddy, be it shopping,eating,gossipping,fun etc... must be single! im 26 this yr. hope to find someone similiar and be like accompanion
                      cheerful and carefree
                      do pm me!
                      Dam! you can't find any female here.

                      Comment


                      • For now i have had enough of heartbreak too. Good to stay single till i have recovered.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by DanielaWong View Post
                          For now i have had enough of heartbreak too. Good to stay single till i have recovered.
                          yes, let your heart recovers first, it is better to stay single rather than to be taken in for a ride

                          Comment


                          • I agree to pommie2x....its better to stay single than to have commitment!hahaha...you can do what you want w/out any hurdle..

                            Comment


                            • Hey friends, I'm currently working on a matchmaking cum overseas tour service for singles and my team are looking for valuable opinions from u all.
                              Hope u guys can take out 5 mins of your precious time to complete this survey.
                              Thank you so much!

                              Market Research Survey

                              Comment


                              • Survey exclusively for singles aged 25 and above

                                Hey friends, I'm currently working on a matchmaking cum overseas tour service for singles and my team are looking for valuable opinions from u all.
                                Hope u guys can take out 5 mins of your precious time to complete this survey.
                                Thank you so much!

                                Market Research Survey

                                Comment

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